A common misconception about relationships is that one person’s happiness is dependent upon the actions of the other. That is simply not the case. In a relationship, your happiness begins and ends within you!

It is critical to remember that, above all, our own happiness needs to be considered. A happy partner often leads to a happier relationship.

Even if we develop bright outlooks, though, it is easy to fall into the belief trap that any relationship problems are abnormal. This could leave you feeling down and negative. In fact, there are many issues that could arise in a relationship that are extremely common – and very normal.

Here are some of the most frequently occurring relationship issues that seem to arise, and some useful advice about how to approach them and deal with them head-on.

Feeling “Meh”

This happens all the time. You have been with your partner for a long time. The luster seems to have faded, and the “spark” that was once there is a distant memory. You spend your days feeling “meh” – bored, tired, and craving attention and stimulation.

This feeling is simply a lack of dopamine. When things feel boring or routine, your brain releases less dopamine, the “feel good” chemical, and excitement dwindles. This will call for some work and some faith in the fact that the lack of spark can be quite temporary. Experimentation is key. Discovering new hobbies together, engaging in conversations about interesting topics, or cooking a new meal together could all help the process. Consistently working on your relationship and responding to each others’ needs will likely produce positive outcomes.

The Blues

That “meh” might turn into something more serious if you allow it to fester and build. There are several factors that can spur on depression, from genetics to whatever else might be going on in your life. Unlike traditional medical tests, depression can only be determined through behavioral factors such as lower sex drive, changes in sleep, anxiety, anger, irritability, and more. When other means of coping fail, people in relationships tend to blame their imperfect unions for their negative feelings.

The truth is that all relationships are imperfect. If these symptoms persist, though, then it may be time to look inward and consider seeking treatment for depression. As we mentioned before, a happier relationship starts with a happier you, and in order to find balance, you may have to engage in self-care.

Dealing with Betrayal

While sexual betrayal may be what you think of first, there are many types of betrayal that could plague a relationship, from an invasion of privacy to financial deception. Betrayal, though harmful, is also very common.

While a breach of confidence or a misunderstanding might be rectified with both parties conversing and making the effort to heal whatever trust was broken, more serious betrayal (like infidelity) may require professional intervention. Consulting a therapist and attending couples counseling sessions might be a good start. A therapist is trained in techniques that allow partners to open up and explore their emotions in a judgment-free setting.

Mood Swings

Everyone experiences fluctuations in their mood. For some, it’s hormonal. For others, it could be related to stress, either at work or at home. If your relationship suffers because of mood swings, it is as important to bring up concerns as it is to engage in self-assessment.

If your partner is subject to changes in mood, agree to be honest with each other and raise your concerns. Offer to discuss whatever it is that is affecting their daily temperament and be prepared to help. If you are suffering from mood swings, ask yourself how you treat your partner. Regardless of what your partner does, you can make changes from within. A conversation or a deep self-assessment could improve both your well being and your life together in the long run.

While relationship problems are common, as noted above, there are situations that may require a safe space for you to engage in couples counseling and therapy. Susan Block LMFT brings innovative therapeutic techniques and experience to each relationship and can help you engage with your partner to promote healing. To learn more about our counseling services, visit:, or call us for a free consultation today: 954-675-1936.

Susan Block is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in marriage, family and individual therapy and is an active member of The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). Susan Block practices in South Florida

Susan Block is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in marriage, family and individual therapy. She earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education from Florida Atlantic University in 1997 and completed her Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Nova Southeastern University in 2004. Also an active member of The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), Susan Block offers Couples Counseling in South Florida, as well as online therapy throughout the state. Click on the link to find out more: