Watch Susan Block, LMFT talk about infidelity and ways to reconnect with your partner on Divorce Connection Network
Cheating on your Spouse or Being Cheated on
Cheating on your spouse or your partner can be the most deceptive and destructive problem a couple can face. Most people assume if they are victims of infidelity, that naturally they would leave the relationship. This might be true for some; however this is not the case for all. Some people are quite surprised at their own willingness to stay in their relationship and have a difficult time trying to make sense of their feelings of doubt, fear, sadness, anger and hopelessness. Many couples are seeking infidelity counseling with the hopes that they can first understand why this happened. Then, they try to sort through their emotions during this confusing time and finally unlock a new and even better, more trusting relationship. Marriage Counseling is an opportunity for a couple to receive guidance and support, but most importantly, hope.
What is Infidelity?
Infidelity has been described as marital unfaithfulness, disloyalty, especially to your spouse or committed partner, and a violation of a set of boundaries within the relationship. Cheating can range from an emotional connection outside the marriage to a physical and sexual relationship. Examples of physical and sexual connections outside the marriage can be described as: kissing, intimate hugging or hand holding, a fling, a one night stand or a full sexual relationship with someone other than your spouse or committed partner. Recently, with technology so accessible, many more people are stepping out of their relationships in ways other than physical or sexual. Some examples are: flirtatious emails, intimate text messages or private messages on social media platforms that cross boundaries within the relationship. Understanding what the boundaries are within your relationship is a way to avoid some of the gray areas that can be considered inappropriate, but innocent.
I have completed the Level 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and I utilize this method when working with couples. These techniques you learn through couples or marriage counseling will improve your communication, connection and friendship. This method also strives in helping couples manage conflict, achieve empathy, and have more compassion for one another. It’s important to understand that if you and your partner have been in a dysfunctional pattern of communication, change can and will happen with a combination of effective couples counseling and willingness and motivation on your part. It’s time to break down the protective walls that have been built, find love and admiration for your partner and most importantly, have fun!
Rebuilding a relationship after infidelity is like rebuilding a home or a building after a devastating natural disaster. The natural disaster like an earthquake, hurricane or tornado can crush the infrastructure, tear it down in a matter of seconds and you’re left with a broken foundation. With time, dedication, strong materials, patience and resilience, the building can be stronger and safer than before. This holds true for your marriage. Infidelity and broken trust is a disaster, but with the right tools, strength, commitment and patience, you can rebuild an even stronger relationship than you had before. One based on love, trust and honesty. If you are faced with infidelity in your relationship, it is important to seek professional support. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist can guide you through this process.
Susan Block talks Handling Infidelity in Relationships on the Stay Married Podcast
Palm Beach Divorce Lawyer Christopher R. Bruce recently invited Licensed Mariage Marriage & Family Therapist Susan Block to his Stay Married Podcast. She discussed practical approaches couples can use to process and overcome infidelity in their relationships. Listen on iTunes by clicking HERE!