Cheating on your Spouse or Being Cheated on

Cheating on your spouse or your partner can be the most deceptive and destructive problem a couple can face. Most people assume if we are victims of infidelity, that naturally we would leave the relationship. This might be true for some; however, this is not the case for all. Some of us are quite surprised at our own willingness to stay in our relationship and have a difficult time trying to make sense of our feelings of doubt, fear, sadness, anger, and hopelessness. Many of us are seeking infidelity counseling with the hopes that we can first understand why this happened. Then, we try to sort through our emotions during this confusing time and finally unlock a new and even better, more trusting relationship. Marriage counseling is an opportunity for us to receive guidance and support, but most importantly, hope.

What is Infidelity?

Infidelity has been described as marital unfaithfulness, disloyalty, especially to our spouse or committed partner, and a violation of a set of boundaries within the relationship. Cheating can range from an emotional connection outside the marriage to a physical and sexual relationship. Examples of physical and sexual connections outside the marriage can be described as: kissing, intimate hugging or hand holding, a fling, a one-night stand, or a full sexual relationship with someone other than our spouse or committed partner. Recently, with technology so accessible, many more of us are stepping out of our relationships in ways other than physical or sexual. Some examples are flirtatious emails, intimate text messages, or private messages on social media platforms that cross boundaries within the relationship. Understanding what the boundaries are within our relationship is a way to avoid some of the gray areas that can be considered inappropriate but innocent.

We have completed the Level 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and utilize this method when working with couples. These techniques we learn through couples or marriage counseling will improve our communication, connection, and friendship. This method also strives to help us manage conflict, achieve empathy, and have more compassion for one another. It’s important to understand that if we have been in a dysfunctional pattern of communication, change can and will happen with a combination of effective couples counseling and our willingness and motivation. It’s time to break down the protective walls that have been built, find love and admiration for our partner, and most importantly, have fun!

Surviving Infidelity

Rebuilding a relationship after infidelity is like rebuilding a home or a building after a devastating natural disaster. The natural disaster, like an earthquake, hurricane, or tornado, can crush the infrastructure, tear it down in a matter of seconds, and we’re left with a broken foundation. With time, dedication, strong materials, patience, and resilience, the building can be stronger and safer than before. This holds true for our marriage. Infidelity and broken trust is a disaster, but with the right tools, strength, commitment, and patience, we can rebuild an even stronger relationship than we had before. One based on love, trust, and honesty. If we are faced with infidelity in our relationship, it is important to seek professional support. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist can guide us through this process.

Susan Block talks Handling Infidelity in Relationships on the Stay Married Podcast

Palm Beach Divorce Lawyer Christopher R. Bruce recently invited Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Susan Block to his Stay Married Podcast. She discussed practical approaches couples can use to process and overcome infidelity in their relationships. Listen on iTunes by clicking HERE !