Having an emotional and sexual affair can be a deal breaker for many couples. A serious violation has taken place, and trust, the foundation on which every relationship is built, has been broken. Believe it or not, an affair can take place in any seemingly “healthy” relationship, which is why partners can feel so blindsided when it happens. Being in denial, followed by anger, are a few of the five stages of grief you will go through. How could I not know that he/she was unhappy? Questions linger in the air.
In the ashes of an affair, a couple has to decide their next steps. What does each person want and what is best for them? Rebuilding trust after a partner has broken it by cheating is a strenuous but capable pursuit—providing it is what each person wants. Review the following inquiry to understand more about this process.
Can A Relationship Go Back To Normal After Cheating?
Two people in love—a couple—can strengthen the foundation of their relationship if they invest in three key rules: communication, honesty, and trust. Infidelity has the power to break all three of these rules, creating cracks and even destroying relationships. If you’re wondering whether or not it’s possible for a marriage to go back to normal after cheating, the good news is that it is possible… but will require you to roll up your sleeves and prepare for the hard work that’s needed—a lot of hard work.
The first and most crucial step in rebuilding a relationship is for both partners to come together and have an honest conversation. Now I’ll be honest with you; this step is difficult at first.
Speaking from the perspective of the partner who got cheated on, by all means, you have every right to release whatever kind of anger or sadness overwhelms you. But, if you know deep down that you want to work things out with your partner, lower your guard enough to be transparent and upfront. You need to ask the hard questions. Where did the relationship go wrong? Why did this happen? The answer, of course, won’t be easy to hear, but it’s necessary in order to fully understand your pain and decide if you want to stay.
To the partner who stepped out of the relationship, you have some serious introspection to do. The first and most important question you should ask yourself is, ” why did I do it? “
This is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship. Coping with the guilt, shame, and remorse is an important first step in this repair process. Be honest with your responses. Don’t deflect. Accepting FULL responsibility for stepping out on your partner or spouse is necessary to begin the healing process. Saying sorry, showing remorse, saying and showing it genuinely and doing so over and over in the beginning matters and will make a BIG impact on this recovery. You might be feeling frustrated that there were real issues in the marriage and those need to be tended to. They can be but just not right away. It’s like a bleeding wound. You must first stop the bleeding before you can heal the injury. Trust rebuilding begins with you. And trust is a hard thing to gain back but it’s absolutely possible.
If you’ve come to the conclusion that cheating was a foolhardy mistake and are eager to work and win back your partner’s affections, we have just the thing for you. Now that both partners share the same goal, couples therapy can help you begin the healing and repair work and give you both a safe, confidential space to navigate this journey. It’s going to be a rollercoaster of emotions, and some days you’ll be unsure if this can work. That’s all normal. There will be challenges ahead, and a couples therapist who is trained in this repair work can help you build the pieces back together, learn how to regain trust in your relationship, and help you identify what happened and why to prevent this from happening again.
Are you ready to take the next step in your love life? Contact Susan Block, LMFT, and her team for your complimentary consultation. Our telehealth counseling services are 100% remote. Give yourself the gift of therapy and spend some time exploring your mental health. Call today!
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