You and your partner once had it: passion about each other and your relationship. But where has it gone? You still love your spouse, but are you still madly IN LOVE with them? You might start to question. The sparks just seem to have fizzled and that passion, well, you might not remember what it’s about.
You’ve probably grown accustomed to your partner over the years leaving you a little bored, tired, and sometimes unattracted to that person you see at their worst from time-to-time. And with your daily tasks taking up your day and your mind, a little romance, excitement, and sex with your significant other may take a backseat… and much more often than it should. Actually, 1 in 3 couples aren’t having much sex, so if you feel you are one of these, you aren’t alone. But it doesn’t have to be the case.
Sex releases endorphins (which help you feel happier), provides a decent exercise, and brings passion and intimacy between a couple, so why does it seem so hard to do?
Passion in a relationship isn’t only about sex, and sex isn’t the only thing that creates passion. Having passion in your relationship is feeling the excitement, the closeness, the flirty glances that show the other what you’re thinking, and the desire to have one another physically or emotionally.
When giving tips on reigniting the spark and the passion in your relationship, it’s not only about ways to heat it up under the sheets… although I’m not saying it won’t lead to that. Lacking passion may be about feeling bored, but it might also be because of other issues the two of you could have. You may have trouble effectively communicating, argue too much, are stressed out, be stuck in a routine, or forget about each other’s different needs.
These tips will help you address some of these issues in a light-hearted way to help you rediscover what does make you feel sparks around your spouse. Talk to your partner about this together so you both can make an effort to add passion to your relationship together.
4 Tips for Putting the Passion In Your Relationship:
- Live in the moment: Be more spontaneous – The next time you find you’re both home from work early, the kids are off at a sleepover, or the itch for a weekend getaway is calling, take advantage of it and go enjoy each other’s company. Try to break free from your routine, so if a romantic opportunity presents itself, let yourself get swept up in the moment. Stop thinking about the dishes, work problems, and whatever you are annoyed about. When you are able to clear your mind of distractions and focus more on having a fun or romantic time together you will start to notice the things you like about your woman or man, even if your moment away from real life problems is short.
- Don’t always wait for spontaneity to call – Make your own romance happen. It might be difficult to be spontaneous at first, especially if you are used to a routine. The day-to-day can become boring, and your occasional impulsive romantic time may be still leaving you wanting more. Plan dates together. Try choosing some exciting and adventurous activities you wouldn’t normally do… think sky diving, cooking classes, ballroom dance lessons, snorkeling, blind taste tests, star gazing, kayaking, picnicking, or seeing a concert. The exciting new experiences you share together transfer over to excitement and passion in the relationship. Let this excitement help you think about what might happen once “the date” is over, whether it’s snuggling together, feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries, or ending the night with fireworks in bed. In fact, the more flirty anticipation you can build up over the date or even throughout the day before your date, the more passion for romance will build and the better your later portion of the date will be.
- Don’t let your first words be negative – When you first see each other after a long day, don’t start complaining about your work issues or nagging him or her with your pet peeve as soon as you walk in the door. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to address it or not express your concerns to your partner; communication is super important. But try to let the first few minutes you see each other after a long day of work be only positive, even if you feel like you’ve had the worst day of your life. Talk to your partner about this “rule” so you can be on the same page… and help remind one another if you forget rather than get upset. Take this time just to embrace each other, give a compliment, tell a funny story, or simply flirt! It will create a positive attitude towards each other, which will let you or your spouse have more empathy for the other when you do need to vent. And you just might feel less of a need to vent anyway as your stresses don’t seem as bad after a cozy hug with your man or woman.
- Use physical touch and affection more often – Physical intimacy releases oxytocin, which gives you feelings of happiness and establishes a bond between you and your partner. Make the effort to hold hands, stroke your partner’s hair, kiss, and give eye contact. Sometimes you may not realize you aren’t giving him or her touch or affection, so try to be aware of when you can add this to your time together. Touch is personal and lets the other person feel you being there for them while igniting a connection between you two. A small touch can go a long way.