If everyday stressors along with the added pressures of the holidays have strained your relationship, a “New Year’s Resolution” to reconnect with your significant other could be the first step toward “reigniting the fireworks. It really is the perfect time to take a new approach as 2019 brings a fresh slate filled with new possibilities. Here are a few thoughts to get started.
Say “yes” to something your partner has always wanted you to do! Perhaps it’s camping when you’d rather stay in a 5-star hotel, or ballroom dancing lessons even if you have two left feet. Whatever it is, the fact that you suddenly said “yes instead of no” will resonate with your partner. You might also wind up having fun (yes, that is a real possibility) and also find your partner willing to say “yes” to something you’ve been interested in sharing as a couple. Even if it turns out to be a one-time thing, you can both appreciate each other’s gesture and vow to find activities you both enjoy to ensure more quality time spent together in 2019.
Focus on the positive! Especially for couples who have been together a while, it’s easy to focus on the negative. Instead of “why don’t you put the cap back on the toothpaste” try “thank you for making coffee every morning.” Rather than cringing at the sight of dishes in the sink, smile that they are the result of a dinner cooked especially for you.” Just a couple basic examples, try to remember all the things that endeared you to your partner in the first place. Goofy socks, a perfectly prepared flan, bed head, a generous heart, off-key singing voice – whatever it is, it can lead to less criticism, and maybe unleash a laugh or two.
Speaking of which, laughter can be the glue that keeps a relationship tight! From bonding over a hilarious comedy to creating a “special intimacy” with a running joke, resolve to bring more joy into your relationship by creating more opportunities to share laughter. It can also open you up to sharing more thoughts, listening more intently and improving communication overall. Which, as you know, is all important to a good relationship.
If you’re thinking, “That’s all well and good for other people,” it might be time to take to take a more in-depth look. If there is constant disagreement, a lack of respect or a general malaise, perhaps communication has broken down. Is there a lack of affection, empathy, or a breach of trust that one of you can’t forgive? If you still want to reconnect, outside assistance could prove useful. As a Couple’s Therapist in Coral Springs, I’ve seen couples facing complicated issues successfully address and resolve matters with couples counseling.
Susan Block is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in marriage, family and individual therapy. She earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education from Florida Atlantic University in 1997 and completed her Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Nova Southeastern University in 2004. Also an active member of The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), Susan Block offers Couples Counseling in South Florida, as well as online therapy throughout the state. Click on the link to find out more: https://coralspringscounselingcenter.com/counseling-specialties/online-therapy/